OH it’s been one of those weekends and weeks as well. Just now taking time out to write here now that I’m feeling a little better. All last weekend I’ve had this headache that just wouldn’t go away and I really believe it was due to my high blood pressure along with stress of my father and the project. When I get like that I’m not worth a damn and it was showing for sure. Since I wasn’t getting out of the house much over the weekend it seem the house was making things worst as I wasn’t getting any fresh air. When I did get out my head was hutting even worse. It got so bad that hot showers weren’t helping. However I do limit myself on medications as I don’t want to be depended on them but don’t get me wrong I will take them when I need them. The only thing that I found that was really worth my while and worked was Benidril. (Or however you spell it) Sad part is, it puts me to sleep so need less to day I was sleeping most of the weekend. Last Friday got word that my father was being moved from the Hospital to a rehab hospital which is good news but he doesn’t seem to be making any progress at the moment. They won’t let him put his feet on the ground and he’s still I a little pain from the stint they put in his leg. Just really exhausting to run a business, have a job and checking on him from time to time. Seem since I work evenings I’m the more extendable one but that’s got to stop as I have a business to run and I can’t been letting folks down and I especially don’t want to loose credibility.
I’ve received two letters from my Ex Jeff, for those of you who don’t know he’s in jail facing child molestation charged. He cut all contact with me here for a while. Lord only knows why but all of the sudden I get a letter from him and another one this past Wednesday as well. From what his mother tells me he’s had a preliminary hearing and they wouldn’t let anyone in there but they didn’t do anything either. The first letter I received from him stated that he was going back to trial in July. The second letter he said they have moved it back to Sept now. So that’s letting me know that the prosecutors don’t have a case or someone isn’t talking. Jeff says he’s ready to get out of there and do probation or serve time but just hurry up and get it over with. However he keeps talking of then giving him the death penalty in which I haven’t head of anyone getting the death penalty for such a crime. My guess he has all this time on his hands he’s thinking about what he’s done. He says he’s getting help while in there as I hope they don’t use it against him in court, still not my problem. He asked if he could come live with me if he could make bond and time has to go to trial. I don’t see that happening as they will surely look at him as a flight risk as he ran when all this started. Plus he can’t stay in his county because of the kids and coming into the next county I would think be a no, no as well. I hate to say it but I don’t have trust in him as he’s stood in my face and told me a bold face lie on several occasion which doesn’t hold well with me. Not to say if his heart wasn’t in it at first why would his heart be in it now? He says he was in a different place when he and I were together and even with help that’s not going to change. I’ve heard stuff from him like, I feel controlled by you or I don’t feel it in my heart. He and I could have gone far but he was in his own little world and it kept falling in around him. I’m just glad I got out when I did and that was two years ago now.
Do I still feel something for him folks have asked? Well I can say one doesn’t loose feeling for someone they have been that close too. I guess I’m not your typical gay men. I like values and meaning in a relationship. One where we can work together to become one and build and empire for ourselves and children if they came into the picture. I do feel this will be his second change to make a big change in his life since he won’t have any baggage or responsibilities. I know the courts won’t let him near his kids again until they eighteen and they grandparents on her side surely won’t let them have anything from him at all. I’ve made my peace with Jeffery and have moved on. I won’t stop being his friend and I can say I care, as well as have history together. I do miss our conversations from time to time however I won’t be used or taken down buy someone who need to help them self before moving forward. Maybe why I haven’t gone to see him in the detention center.
Today is a lovely day out and cool as cold front has passed though yet again in the middle of may. Mother nature just doesn’t know what she wants to do. No headache today so I’m happy of that and feeling good and rested too. It’s been pleasant out here for sure. Gas prices on he other hand haven’t, I paid $2.91 to day and put $50.00 bucks in the vehicle and drove down the road after I filled it up and saw $2.85. Now you know I was pissed for sure. Oh well something really needs to be done for sure. I know there is someone out here who has invented a pill that you can drop in your tank and fill it up with water and have gas to run your vehicle. Will be here soon working on getting my vehicle repaired. It’s been sitting up for seven months now with a dead battery, out dated tags and soon here will need to be inspected. I’m just going to have to bit the bullet and get it done as it’s going to be a hot one here in Houston for sure. I have to say so far this year has been eventful and prosperous as well and on that note that’s about it for now so until fingers meet keys all have a good one and I do apologize for the delay of not writing here sooner. I’ll try to do much better. I do thank all you for your prayers, IM’s and Emails concerning my father. He’s a tough old man and rolling right along. Hugs all.
I’ve received two letters from my Ex Jeff, for those of you who don’t know he’s in jail facing child molestation charged. He cut all contact with me here for a while. Lord only knows why but all of the sudden I get a letter from him and another one this past Wednesday as well. From what his mother tells me he’s had a preliminary hearing and they wouldn’t let anyone in there but they didn’t do anything either. The first letter I received from him stated that he was going back to trial in July. The second letter he said they have moved it back to Sept now. So that’s letting me know that the prosecutors don’t have a case or someone isn’t talking. Jeff says he’s ready to get out of there and do probation or serve time but just hurry up and get it over with. However he keeps talking of then giving him the death penalty in which I haven’t head of anyone getting the death penalty for such a crime. My guess he has all this time on his hands he’s thinking about what he’s done. He says he’s getting help while in there as I hope they don’t use it against him in court, still not my problem. He asked if he could come live with me if he could make bond and time has to go to trial. I don’t see that happening as they will surely look at him as a flight risk as he ran when all this started. Plus he can’t stay in his county because of the kids and coming into the next county I would think be a no, no as well. I hate to say it but I don’t have trust in him as he’s stood in my face and told me a bold face lie on several occasion which doesn’t hold well with me. Not to say if his heart wasn’t in it at first why would his heart be in it now? He says he was in a different place when he and I were together and even with help that’s not going to change. I’ve heard stuff from him like, I feel controlled by you or I don’t feel it in my heart. He and I could have gone far but he was in his own little world and it kept falling in around him. I’m just glad I got out when I did and that was two years ago now.
Do I still feel something for him folks have asked? Well I can say one doesn’t loose feeling for someone they have been that close too. I guess I’m not your typical gay men. I like values and meaning in a relationship. One where we can work together to become one and build and empire for ourselves and children if they came into the picture. I do feel this will be his second change to make a big change in his life since he won’t have any baggage or responsibilities. I know the courts won’t let him near his kids again until they eighteen and they grandparents on her side surely won’t let them have anything from him at all. I’ve made my peace with Jeffery and have moved on. I won’t stop being his friend and I can say I care, as well as have history together. I do miss our conversations from time to time however I won’t be used or taken down buy someone who need to help them self before moving forward. Maybe why I haven’t gone to see him in the detention center.
Today is a lovely day out and cool as cold front has passed though yet again in the middle of may. Mother nature just doesn’t know what she wants to do. No headache today so I’m happy of that and feeling good and rested too. It’s been pleasant out here for sure. Gas prices on he other hand haven’t, I paid $2.91 to day and put $50.00 bucks in the vehicle and drove down the road after I filled it up and saw $2.85. Now you know I was pissed for sure. Oh well something really needs to be done for sure. I know there is someone out here who has invented a pill that you can drop in your tank and fill it up with water and have gas to run your vehicle. Will be here soon working on getting my vehicle repaired. It’s been sitting up for seven months now with a dead battery, out dated tags and soon here will need to be inspected. I’m just going to have to bit the bullet and get it done as it’s going to be a hot one here in Houston for sure. I have to say so far this year has been eventful and prosperous as well and on that note that’s about it for now so until fingers meet keys all have a good one and I do apologize for the delay of not writing here sooner. I’ll try to do much better. I do thank all you for your prayers, IM’s and Emails concerning my father. He’s a tough old man and rolling right along. Hugs all.
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