Memorial Day Weekend

Hello All

I guess most of you have been wondering what’s been happening as I haven’t been updating this as often. Well two weeks ago I mentioned my father was back in the hospital for his foot and later sent to a rehab center to finish his Therapy. A week later he was placed back in the hospital for and infection that developed in his foot. He had developed a blister on his foot that wasn’t healing well, in the process caught an infection. Diabetes I hear will do that to you on top of his dialyses. To make a long story short they were talking about amputating his foot because the infection in which I have to say I wasn’t too happy about when I got the news. I went to see him as soon as I got word as he seemed to be taking the news pretty well. I know he was keeping a straight face for us. Still we wanted to get a second opinion in which we did. We ended up having him moved to the Methodist Hospital down town and tomorrow they’re doing surgery on this foot to remove part of the bone and not his whole foot. I was relieved of that. The length of his big toe will be shorter but again it’s better than having the whole foot removed. I think he will be pleased as he was in a lot of pain and since I’m like him anything is better than having pain.

I have to work on Monday but I’ve been invited to a send off party on Saturday for a dear friend. It will be good to spend sometime with good friends again. Plus it will be a nice break from all that’s been going the past few weeks and I even have an escort. (See picture below to right) Second issues all mailed out and I’ve only seen one major mistake but getting better. So far all have been pleased with it. Working on Third issue as well as website so that will be ready for a June release. My brothers play toy will be home on Sunday and I’m not looking forward to that as it’s been really nice not having him around. However I hear he may be pulling out three days later as he’s ready to make some serious money. Off Shore work in which I don’t think he has the balls to stick with it. I have lost faith on him keeping a job for long periods of time. Then again I could be wrong on this one. See his problem is he wants to make a quick buck but he also has to learn that he needs to save his money as well. One thing on this job if he keeps it he’ll have goof benefits and that’s something he needs. I told my brother if he doesn’t keep this job this time I’ll have his stuff packed at the front door waiting for him as he has no choice in the matter this time. I’m all for helping someone but there comes a time when you have to help yourself as well and if he thinks this will be a free ride well he has another thing coming for sure.

School is out and since I have three teaches in the family all will be wanting one thing or another, rather it be running errands or picking up someone. Two and a half months till the next semester and I for one are already for them to get back to work and they haven’t had the first day off. My brother isn’t too bad on stuff like that but more my sister and mother. Since my father is in the hospital she’ll be preoccupied with him. However I have a business to run so that’s not going to be and option for me. Not to mention on the job I have been receiving kids on the job every day and not just two or three. We’re way over capacity and headquarters wants us to drop it down by 30 kids. Not going to happen when they continue to send them from the evaluation center. Can one say communication break down? To be honest it’s like we’re at war with the E-Val center. So something will have to give here, not to mention we’re all stressed to no end.

I haven’t had time to write Jeff back as you read I’ve been pretty busy. However I will work on sending him a letter over the weekend. I can tell he’s been feeling sorry for himself as he keeps talking about the death prenatally and stuff like that, then again I’ve been doing this business for twenty two years now so I kind of know those signs. My conscience is clear if he does decide to do harm to himself. He being Bipolar does worry me but I won’t let it slow me down. Since my mind and heart aren’t clouded by love for him I’m not that easy to put on his side. As I have said in the past I will be his friend but I know how far that friendship will go. He seems to know where he’s going to live when he’s released. The hard part is he hasn’t any answers yet as they keep setting back the trial which lets me know the prosecution doesn’t have a case or someone isn’t talking. Then again the question is will this person he’s going to house sit for be around or a living when he’s release as I hear this man in up in the age. He seems to think he could get probation and if that happens I would be happy for him. He did ask me could he come stay with me if he was able to bond out and of course I would have to decline but I don’t think that would happen as he was a is flight risk. The running when this all happen was harmful to him on that. Jeff will always have a place in my heart and I have given him all kinds of chances but again when he told me he enjoyed the sex we had but as far as loving me he just didn’t feel it in his heart that was the last draw for me. Why would I want to stay with someone who doesn’t feel the same about me as I did for him? He wrote that I would always have a special place in his heart and wish thing had been different for us but his head was in a different place then but says he’s getting help for it now. For me I think it’s a little too late. I’ll admit the dick was good and fit just right however there was no passion from him. Either he didn’t know how or just didn’t want to. I’ve seem him give his dog more passion than he gave me and I did let him know it. As I look back on it way to many signs but I was blinded by love not to see them. Well enough of that as it’s a thing of the past for me. I do which all a great weekend as I’m going to make the best if mine as well. So until fingers meet keys all take care and plenty of hugs and on those who have passed before us.

Day After Hump Day

OH it’s been one of those weekends and weeks as well. Just now taking time out to write here now that I’m feeling a little better. All last weekend I’ve had this headache that just wouldn’t go away and I really believe it was due to my high blood pressure along with stress of my father and the project. When I get like that I’m not worth a damn and it was showing for sure. Since I wasn’t getting out of the house much over the weekend it seem the house was making things worst as I wasn’t getting any fresh air. When I did get out my head was hutting even worse. It got so bad that hot showers weren’t helping. However I do limit myself on medications as I don’t want to be depended on them but don’t get me wrong I will take them when I need them. The only thing that I found that was really worth my while and worked was Benidril. (Or however you spell it) Sad part is, it puts me to sleep so need less to day I was sleeping most of the weekend. Last Friday got word that my father was being moved from the Hospital to a rehab hospital which is good news but he doesn’t seem to be making any progress at the moment. They won’t let him put his feet on the ground and he’s still I a little pain from the stint they put in his leg. Just really exhausting to run a business, have a job and checking on him from time to time. Seem since I work evenings I’m the more extendable one but that’s got to stop as I have a business to run and I can’t been letting folks down and I especially don’t want to loose credibility.

I’ve received two letters from my Ex Jeff, for those of you who don’t know he’s in jail facing child molestation charged. He cut all contact with me here for a while. Lord only knows why but all of the sudden I get a letter from him and another one this past Wednesday as well. From what his mother tells me he’s had a preliminary hearing and they wouldn’t let anyone in there but they didn’t do anything either. The first letter I received from him stated that he was going back to trial in July. The second letter he said they have moved it back to Sept now. So that’s letting me know that the prosecutors don’t have a case or someone isn’t talking. Jeff says he’s ready to get out of there and do probation or serve time but just hurry up and get it over with. However he keeps talking of then giving him the death penalty in which I haven’t head of anyone getting the death penalty for such a crime. My guess he has all this time on his hands he’s thinking about what he’s done. He says he’s getting help while in there as I hope they don’t use it against him in court, still not my problem. He asked if he could come live with me if he could make bond and time has to go to trial. I don’t see that happening as they will surely look at him as a flight risk as he ran when all this started. Plus he can’t stay in his county because of the kids and coming into the next county I would think be a no, no as well. I hate to say it but I don’t have trust in him as he’s stood in my face and told me a bold face lie on several occasion which doesn’t hold well with me. Not to say if his heart wasn’t in it at first why would his heart be in it now? He says he was in a different place when he and I were together and even with help that’s not going to change. I’ve heard stuff from him like, I feel controlled by you or I don’t feel it in my heart. He and I could have gone far but he was in his own little world and it kept falling in around him. I’m just glad I got out when I did and that was two years ago now.

Do I still feel something for him folks have asked? Well I can say one doesn’t loose feeling for someone they have been that close too. I guess I’m not your typical gay men. I like values and meaning in a relationship. One where we can work together to become one and build and empire for ourselves and children if they came into the picture. I do feel this will be his second change to make a big change in his life since he won’t have any baggage or responsibilities. I know the courts won’t let him near his kids again until they eighteen and they grandparents on her side surely won’t let them have anything from him at all. I’ve made my peace with Jeffery and have moved on. I won’t stop being his friend and I can say I care, as well as have history together. I do miss our conversations from time to time however I won’t be used or taken down buy someone who need to help them self before moving forward. Maybe why I haven’t gone to see him in the detention center.

Today is a lovely day out and cool as cold front has passed though yet again in the middle of may. Mother nature just doesn’t know what she wants to do. No headache today so I’m happy of that and feeling good and rested too. It’s been pleasant out here for sure. Gas prices on he other hand haven’t, I paid $2.91 to day and put $50.00 bucks in the vehicle and drove down the road after I filled it up and saw $2.85. Now you know I was pissed for sure. Oh well something really needs to be done for sure. I know there is someone out here who has invented a pill that you can drop in your tank and fill it up with water and have gas to run your vehicle. Will be here soon working on getting my vehicle repaired. It’s been sitting up for seven months now with a dead battery, out dated tags and soon here will need to be inspected. I’m just going to have to bit the bullet and get it done as it’s going to be a hot one here in Houston for sure. I have to say so far this year has been eventful and prosperous as well and on that note that’s about it for now so until fingers meet keys all have a good one and I do apologize for the delay of not writing here sooner. I’ll try to do much better. I do thank all you for your prayers, IM’s and Emails concerning my father. He’s a tough old man and rolling right along. Hugs all.

Yesterday Was Hump Day

Well yesterday was Hump day and I was humping for sure. Not the way I would have liked to been but just an all around busy day. Recapping my weekend up to today its been one hell of a week. Last Friday I took a scheduled day off to go to Austin to do photo shoots and was going to spend some time with one who I had been chatting with on line for sometime now as well as get his pictures. That Thursday night I called to confirm if we were still on but didn’t get in touch with him but I did leave a message. Later that night I got a call back from him stating that he was going to have to leave to go back home. Well not to call him a liar but the excuse he gave me just didn’t sit right with me at all. However I wasn’t going to push the issue on it as he told me he would be in Houston in May so I said lets do it then. Well needless to say my plans changed for the weekend.

On Friday I go the rental and drove up to Austin to me Michael for a five o’clock shooting. I was really surprised to make it to Austin in two hours and fifteen minutes when it’s normally a three hours drive. I was really moving as I was running late that day but got there in plenty of time to Meet Michael and start the Shoot. Austin Traffic is really horrible however it’s a lovely city and hilly for sure. I can’t visit but I don’t think I could live there. I got to thinking an ex co worker as I hadn’t heard from him in a while and low and behold he called from out o the blue as I was on my way to Austin and wanted to see me. Something about curling my toes which instantly made me go hard in the vehicle, but it wasn’t going to happen due to me heading to Austin. I did tell him I would give him a call Saturday when and we could talk about it. A long story there as I’ll have to explain later on. Did the Photo shoot with Michael which lasted about three to four hours and then I made my way back to Houston as I was suppose to visit with, who we’ll call the out of Towner, but again he made other plans come to find out as later over the weekend I called the hotel to see if he was still checked in and he was. Did I feel crushed? Yes, but one can’t cry over something they never had. No big deal. The drive home was good as well as I made it home in another two hours or so pulling into the drive way shortly after eleven this evening.

Saturday I put some finishing touches on the publication so I could get it off to the printers. I did call my ex co worker and no answer but he did call me on later on that evening. He was still on the job and wasn’t able to get away until late that evening. To make a long story short nothing transpired. Since I had made plans to go Watch the game with Bob I ended up going over there and we watched our Rockets Loose to Utah. It was a good game at first but the end was the pits as they got so far behind they couldn’t catch up. So each team were tide two games appease. Bob was a lovely host as we had mixed fruit and yogurt as a snack during half time. Game was over about midnight as it was way passed his bedtime so I made my way home. Plus I think he wanted to get some studying in for his inspectors test on Monday. Sunday made my way back to Austin to do what was suppose to be two shoots but one canceled on me as he didn’t feel right taking the photos as his regular barber wasn’t available but had someone else do it and they cut it to short. So I didn’t want to push the issue about it as it would have come out in his photos and I want the models to be comfortable as possible so I can get some natural pictures. He and I did agree to meet on and I would tell him more about the publication in which we did. Lovely home he has and I got some good ideas of doing a shoot for him with him as well. I made plans to go back up there to do a shoot later on in the month but looks like June. However I did send him a copy of the publication in which he should be receiving any day now.

Did the photo shoot as well and visited with Michael, Jim and Lenard again. I only stayed about an hour as they were pretty tired from their trip to San Antonio and Corpus Christi over the weekend. They left shortly after the photo shoot on Friday. Once I left there I made my way home and arrived shortly after midnight. Monday didn’t have to work as I took that day off as from past experience I needed the rest to recoup from the weekend. I got the rental car back before the heavy rain arrived then went to pick up my father from Dialyses and ended up taking him back to the hospital to have them check the machine they have on him to help heal his wound he has on his foot that’s slowly healing. By the time I was finished with him I needed a nap in which I did. Didn’t watch the game as the Rockets played that evening and I hear they won so that put up three to two games of seven. GO ROCKETS!

Tuesday I was enlightened to a surprise at work. They sent me eleven kids that day so needless to day I didn’t finish the last one right in the last few minutes before my shift ended. I was kind of ready for that so I didn’t complain about it however it did slow me down on other work I needed to take care of. Oh well what else was new. Got to thinking about my ex co worker again and thought he might call but I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t need to get involved with him as all I’ll do is get my feeling hurt as I see the whole Jeff thing happening here again. Oh by the way three months later and I still haven’t heard from him so I guess he’s mad at me and don’t want any contact with me. I guess that’s a good thing as I needed to get over him for I really didn’t see a future for me and him. The sex was ok but nothing to write home to mother about. To be honest I really don’t think he knows how to love a person or me the way I would like to be loved. A lot of issues there that I can’t help him out with and he’s got a long struggle a head of him. Could he have been the man of my dreams well he surely had the looks and features I looked for in a man but there comes a time when you have to let things go. Same thing with the ex coworker, He’s got it going on in my book but I see no future there and I need someone who is stable and will be there for me as I he.

Wednesday, Hump day rolled around and like Tuesday was a beautiful day. It was suppose to be 40% change of rain that day but it didn’t transpire. Just kept and over cast which was ok as long as it wasn’t raining. Got to work late as I had to pick up my father from Dialyses again which wasn’t a problem as the job knows the situation and have been really wonderful about it. I don’t know what’s wrong with one of the departments at work but they can’t seem to keep folks in that department. One whom I started talking a liking to was transferring out as he puts it was asked to transfer to another department. So on the way to work I stopped off to get him a departing cake. I figured no one else had done anything for him after all he had not long lost his long time girlfriend to a heart attach. However I always had a feeling he was of the family. He kind of has this Dundee things going on and he’s a red head which helps as well. He was really appreciative of that as it was my pleasure. He will be missed but I have his number so I will be in touch from time to time. After the meeting I was trying to have a slight headache and took some medication that my work wife had and LORD it made me sleepy the rest of the evening. I had to go to my office and close the door so I could take me a quick cat nap. I’ll have to watch that the next time. They didn’t have a lunch for the meeting in which I was glad I ate before I arrived. Later that evening they had smothered pork chops for the kids which were good so I got me a couple. On top of the meds working on me my belly was full which made me supper sleepy. I was even sleepy on the way home so needless to say I went right to bed when I got home. I did see Dyson on line and tried to chat with him but he wasn’t responding. Been that way the last couple of night. I’ve been having some issue with the computer too and have a feeling I’m going to be reformatting the drive here soon. I’ve been backing up work in case that happens for sure.

I was awakened to rain coming down this morning in which we really don’t need anymore but one doesn’t play with Mother Nature. For got to mention that Bob is a certified inspector as of Monday as he passed his test. I was happy for him and he’s really a nice guy. Don’t know if I could have a future with him but I do enjoy spending time with him and I think he feels the same way. No big plans for the day as I have no idea what’s going to happen today work wise or in general. Still looks like more rain to come but I hear the weekend should be nice and lovely. Jerry is coming into town to spend time with Joe and I’ll go over and spend time with then as well as with Bob. Well that’s about it for now as I see I had a lot to catch up on and say as well. So until fingers meet keys all have a good one and hope you all have good plans over the weekend. Hugs.